The Obsession With Being Busy

As I write this post I have in total not spent one weekend in my London flat in a whole month and not planning the next one here either. It feels as if over the past year my schedule seems to get more and more hectic. Trying to navigate through life and squeezing as much as possible in to everyday and every weekend to ensure I can say I am making the most out of life.

I have a booking in system trying to fit in all my friends and family when possible and seem to get calendar happy penciling myself in here, there and everywhere. Before I know it I don't have one weekend to myself or a break in my what is supposed to be spare time. The obsession with keeping my self occupied is taking its toll with my body screaming for one day to switch off and do absolutely nothing. Just to give you an idea my last four weeks started with my friends birthday which had me heading to my home town for her party, the weekend after I was flying out to Mykonos and flying back the following, four days back in the office before getting on a plane again to Ireland trekking from Dublin to Galway and back again and now to Leicester for a Spa weekend with my fellow fashion graduates. Granted, holidays and relaxing weekends don't sound particularly draining but the travelling part certainly is and barely adjusting to the environment before getting up and going again. My life currently revolves around my little spinner case, which I seem to be living out of at the minute.

You would think with my weekends being so filled I would find time in the week to allow myself lazy evenings. We spend our 9-5 at work and therefore I want to do something in my day which is solely and primarily for me. Normally that tends to be the gym, however I have let that routine slip along with inconsistency or pattern to my week. Recently it looks more like me unpacking, washing clothes then pacing my room re-packing for something else, frantically editing a post to get something up on my blog and falling asleep to the 101 episodes I've missed during my time away. Honestly how do people watch things live anymore? I'd be lost without demand and Netflix.

Although this probably sounds like me complaining, I'm not, I swear. I'm very grateful for the life I live and the opportunities that come my way. I don't regret one part of this manic life I lead because it is all things I want to do. It is almost hard to say no, even when you know you are exhausting yourself. The fear of missing out or the after thought of 'what if' takes over and before my brain has time to register it, I've sent the words 'I'm there'.  I cannot be alone in this over filled life where the thought of doing nothing haunts you. Taking things slow is fine but the idea of lounging for more than a day is something I don't think I can do well. I am the type of person who uses train/plane journeys to catch up on everything from editing pictures to my organising my Spotify. I am also the type of person who uses the extra minutes in my lunch break to keep my social channels active. I am the type of person that will find a way to fill every moment of the day yet if you asked me what I had done it wouldn't actually amount to that much. 

It seems at the minute everyone is 'busy' yet the things we are doing don't really count. I found on my trip to Ireland how much more time I had when I wasn't glued to my phone, If I gave that up I would have way more me time. I think the same would go for a lot of people my age. It's hilarious how much I go on my various group chats and everyone rambles on about how busy life has been. It is almost a competition who has been the busiest bee. I'm not sure if we do this as a way to measure our success or if it's more to make us feel fulfilled, like doing so much we are basically killing ourselves means we've peaked. 

To shift this bad habit to a manageable pace may take a bit of work but as I learn to listen to my body, the happier it feels and the more I am able to enjoy the finer things in life and not pass out at the airport...

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