Saturday, 3 September 2016

How To Cut Negative Nancy's Out Your Life

Firstly if your name is Nancy, I do apologise it's nothing personal, you must be having a tough time with this now very common phrase. The gist of the story is basically getting rid of the people that are in your life that don't bring joy or support you and your endeavors.
Unfortunately there are people out there who won't be happy for you when you share a good bit of news, make snide remarks about the way you look or generally feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better. The older I've got the less I have put up with this quiet frankly unacceptable behaviour. Sometimes you actually put up with it for so long you don't even notice it until you take a step back and really think about certain situations. It's crazy that people that call themselves friends or in some cases even family, yet can do such an awful thing. 

The real matter is how it will go on to effect you as an individual. Whether you see this person everyday, every week, every month or maybe even just once a year, it may still have an impact. It is usually a lot tougher when someone is constantly feeding you negative comments one after another as it all tends to build up and all get on top of you. I've been in this situation myself with a person commenting on how my trousers are looking a bit tight recently implying a weight gain, telling me I'm embarrassing for my doing my blog and youtube channel and that they are smarter than me just because they studied something more academic. From my perspective I have found a new grown confidence since waving them goodbye. It's all about knowing who you are, being comfortable with it and not allowing peoples comments make you doubt yourself.

One of my favourite quotes on this is:

"Be proud of who you are not ashamed of how someone else sees you"

Not only can we experience this verbal abuse in real life but it is also made easier for people online. These people often hide behind anonymous accounts to troll your feeds with absolute nonsense. This gives these keyboard warriors a form of "power" that people don't know who they are and therefore they post whatever they please. This for me is so simple, it can all be resolved with a simple block. Although you cannot un-see the comment you regain some comfort knowing they won't be able to do so again. 

It's important to note the difference between someone being negative to someone providing constructive criticism. If I get a comment saying "loved the video but I found the background music a bit loud though!" that for me is constructive and I will work on that next time. On the other hand a comment like "What is that f***ing awful music in background, so annoying. Unfollowed." I would say this is more negative. It's all in the tone, use of manners and especially via online message things can come across completely different to the way it was intended. By putting "I love you but.." or something along those lines with a negative comment at the end does not make it okay. You just have to put some thought in to it and make sure you've voiced your opinion but in the right way. There are certain times when you should also know when it's just best to not say anything at all if you simply don't have anything nice or constructive to say.
Whether it's someone online, a person in your friendship group, a colleague at work or maybe even a member of your family it needs to be resolved. Maybe ask for someone else's advice on the situation to try and find the best way to make the issue better. I believe in second chances and if someone apologises then see if things improve. However for me if bad habits slip back in to place then it's time to walk away from the situation with your head high as you know you've done everything you could've done. You shouldn't ever be made to feel inferior by someone else and honestly the relief you feel when they are no longer on your case is pretty darn amazing.

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  1. Irrelevant to the post, but I love the Kurt Geiger Saffiano bag! Its stunning!


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