Sunday, 2 July 2017

How To Stay Positive When Things Turn Negative

At work they asked me how I've been working there for nearly over six months and not once had a ‘bad day’ or seemed in a bad mood. I try to keep upbeat and positive where possible however when life throws challenges your way it can prove very difficult to remain this way. Below I have tried to share my perspective on this topic, giving away my tips on how to exhale positivity. 

This week alone I have had a string of those mornings that start your day off in a way that it can only seem to get worse. For example in the mist of heatwave and a few nights lacking sleep my fan decided to keel over and stop working during the night, just what I needed being on the top floor of my incredibly hot rented town house. Following this as a pick me up I reached for my brand new skirt to wear to work, flicked on the iron only to melt it within minutes as the temperature was turned up too high,then the panic of what to wear and rush truly began! In an attempt to get out of the flat on time for work I hadn't realised I was leaving the building in socks… they do say that bad things happen in threes. Although in the grand scheme of things these are very minor they can have a very negative impact on the start of your day which I believe is the starting point of determining how your day will go. Obviously it cannot always go to plan and there is only so much you can anticipate or prepare for but that is just part of the deal. 

On the other extreme simply switching on the news you hear about tragedies happening around the world and right on your doorstep. In these circumstances I'm often left feeling helpless and full of emotions for those effected. As time goes on I find it more difficult to watch as ever arising situations only seem to be getting worse and raise more frustration about what is or isn't being done to avoid the problems. It would be naive to think our world would be 100% clean and trouble free but it is hard to see the point of view of people that want to cause so much destruction and spread hate among their own or differing communities. In these scenarios it's is best to see if there are any actions you can do big or small, just make a contribution. Whether that is a tweet raising awareness and saying you choose love to making a donation to volunteering, you will feel as if you have supported those people during a difficult time. One of my favourite quotes that really relates is:

'We rise by lifting others'.
Your mood is a hard thing to control but re-enforcing positive messaging to yourself can make a big impact. To feel happy you need to understand yourself, your feelings and why you are feeling them. This time last year I went through a slump of confusion about what I wanted to do having just graduated I felt the pressure of everyone asking ‘What next?’. With people feeding negative messages, mostly indirectly but still saying things like ‘Oh you haven't found anything yet? My daughter or I'm doing blah blah’ or ‘Do your think maybe you are aiming too high?’ Etc I began to doubt my abilities. After a short break traveling and refinding my feet I told myself that I would find something, that is both what I wanted to do and was more than capable of doing. I rejected anything I believed to be harmful to take on board. This filter of words from others and from myself built up my self-esteem and within days I had noticed a dramatic difference in both how I felt and how I was acting. Yes you will meet people who will want to purposefully put you down but you can choose to rise above it, which becomes easier the more familiar you are with your character and morals. It gets to the stage where you do laugh it off because you simply know that it is not ‘you’ at all. Knowing your worth is the best place to start, If you aren't giving yourself any attention you are already undervaluing it.

'Be happy in the moment, that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.'

You don't have to cope with everything by yourself. Ranting to friends or family to get things of you chest or seeking someone more professional to offload on to is human. Plus I feel like they can be great for giving you perspective and know just what to say to make you feel better. It is also perfectly normal to have down days or feel sad, there is no way you can not feel other emotions than happy. In some instances these moments make you appreciate and cherish the special ones even more. You would never know the feeling of contentment if you didn't have some hardship. 
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I hope my scribblings on this post help some of you to have more of positive outlook everyday, even when things get tough. You are stronger and braver than you think.


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