Saturday, 17 September 2016

Why Being Single Is Not A Bad Thing

I have never really opened up about my relationship status on here before and not really 100% sure why I have chosen now as the time to talk about it, but here we go. I have been single for around two years now and I wanted to talk about the positives of it just being me, myself and I.
My friends and I have just discussed how very 'Carrie Bradshaw' this post idea is, Sex in the City eat your heart out. I thought to start I would give you a little background information to set the scene. I've had a string of very short lived relationships in my teen years which ended very abruptly due to two cases of cheating (on their behalf) in a row. I don't particularly count these as relationships as they never had a chance to become anything serious and everything was still in very early stages. After that I was in one long term relationship of approximately three years, this went on throughout sixth form and my first year at university. So there you have it, that is a very cut down update of my dating history.

On reflection I think the cheating scenarios had more of an impact on me that I cared to admit at the time. I think for it to happen once to anyone is an awful thing to go through but when it happens again you start to think is it something you've done wrong. The ridiculous "I was drunk" excuse or no explanation for inappropriate messages were personally never going to cut it for me. Although after that I was in a lengthy and mostly happy relationship which had no such issues, I just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I had such low self-esteem, a lot going in my personal life and I just completely lost who I was in it all.
 Fast forward to two years later which brings us to present day, I can't believe the changes I've seen in myself and my character. Not that I would wish my experiences on anyone but it has certainly made me a lot stronger and I do not take sh*t from anyone. Gone are the days where I was an unappreciated doormat who was constantly trying to make someone else happy. I think relationships can be amazing and I haven't ruled it out my life forever. For now as I grow as an individual I have found you either grow together or grow apart, which is kind of out of our control. Our twenties are for experimenting, finding ourselves and focusing on doing you. I have the freedom to do whatever I please without having to ask permission or worry about anyone else's feelings but my own. I'm determined to travel and get my life in check first because right now thats my priority. 

"The better person you become the better person you will attract"

I believe when the times right I will find someone who adds to my life and I add to theirs. Part of the reason it doesn't bother me is the fact I have so many other people that bring love, joy and happiness in to my life. I think where I previously went wrong was putting all my eggs in one basket and therefore the relationship determined my happiness. To be real, I'm only twenty one and I don't feel any pressure or rush to find 'the one'. I think as I've become more independent person I am adamant I want to be able to support myself and stand on my own two feet. Plus I'm in-between life stages right now I have four major fashion cities available on my job prospects and if the opportunity was right I couldn't turn it down. I know I probably sound really selfish but there will be a point in my life when I will constantly be putting someone else's needs before my own. So I say now is the time for me and leave you with some words to remember. You don't find your worth in a man, you find your worth within yourself and then find a man who's worthy of you. 
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  1. I love this it's all so very true and glad someone else thinks the same way about being single as I do!xx

    1. Glad I'm not alone in it all as well! Thanks for commenting lovely x


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