I was unsure whether to continue with these yearly round up posts, especially as 2020 has been particularly tough for us all but was determined to keep going for traditions sake. I thought this year was going to be a little more tricky given the circumstances but once I got going there was more that happened this year than I thought. I've included the highs, lows, learning experiences and so much more, think this has been my realest and rawest version yet.
One thing that is consistent throughout the years is my love for the Theatre, it really has been so upsetting to watch an industry so close to my heart struggle. Luckily I managed to catch the Three Sisters show at the Lyttelton Theatre in February for my dads birthday. Based in 1960s Nigeria on the brink of the Biafran Civil War the three sisters Lolo, Nne Chukwu and Udo are grieving the loss of their father. You truly feel all the emotions along with them and once we are able to I would highly recommend booking in to see this play not only because it was a great watch, but to give the support and a well deserved boost to all those that make the performance what it is.
When booking in things with my friends it often starts with finding a place via Instagram and then dragging them to come with me. With a friend based closely to Birmingham we arranged an afternoon tea at Noels for Galentines which may not seem out of the ordinary but this was the last time we were all together before everything changed. Thinking back to this particular memory makes me a bit emotional how we had no idea what was round the corner or what we might have done differently if we knew it was the last time we were going to see each other in person that year.
Attended my first Bloggers Market, organised by Kristabel (@iamkristabel), Carrie (@wishwishwish) and Lucy (@shinythoughts) at the Camden Collective its a shopping experience that allows you to buy bargains from top bloggers wardrobes. Trying to be more sustainable with my shopping habits I went to see what was offer as well as meet some online faces in real life. They also had guest sellers including @nicoleocran, @belleandbunty, @glameramo, @heartzeena & @hellomissjordan.
I started weekly CBT and after months of therapy was discharged toward the end of the year. I was very open about how 2019 was a very difficult year for me health wise and because of that I needed to spend some time healing the mental wounds and anxiety that came alongside this. I learnt so much about myself during the process and began to ask my self more internal questions about my thought processes and actions. This really was the core reasoning behind the big strides I have made at coming to terms with my chronic illnesses and for that I'm eternally grateful.
Then in March came Lockdown, hard to get through this year without hearing the 'C' word. Although we are in a similar position now and it feels much like the new normal, the initial one felt very different. Consumed mostly with fear and no understanding of the virus, the cancellation of two holidays, zoom/facetime being the only interaction we had with loved ones soon turned in to online quizzes, binge watching series (aka Tiger King) and so much more. Although staying home has certainly impacted everyone in their own way it has made me appreciate the importance of my space and environment. This naturally brings me on to my next point that I made a few home tweaks. I’m so delighted with my new nook and I think four years in my room has been happy for the much needed attention and TLC. Only having one room to spend months on end inside, I decorated by adding an armless grey chair and matching storage footstool with a print above that says “Coco - I don’t do fashion, I am fashion”. My marble side table sits my new well-being pod which fills my room with the scent from my chosen essential oils and Himalayan salt lamp to help promote relaxation.
When restrictions were beginning to lift I turned 25 by having a few friends over for drinks in the garden. Although this was one of my most low-key birthdays and it wasn't the Santorini trip my parents had planned for, everyone in my life made it so special. I received deliveries in the post throughout the day which I was not expecting and made the best surprises from friends further afield. We listened to music, my friend had just got a new puppy which she brought round with her for cuddles and we had a bottle of bubbly to celebrate the day.
Then in June there was the BLM protests and racism posts which is something I have always been passionate about. I continued the conversation by uploading a very personal experience you can read on my blog here. This lead to my collaboration with @everydayracisim_ who amplified my story on white silence as another opportunity to not just listen and learn but think about the impact of your words/actions and consider those towards black people in the future. I attended London protests which is something I will never forget. I felt a sense of grief, pain and mourning mixed with acceptance, love and empowerment. I will continue to show up and support black lives matter movement.
We all missed some milestones this year, but thankfully with technology we were able to connect in more innovative ways. I was able to throw my sister a birthday party over Zoom, attend my cousin Yvonne's Baby shower and meet her daughter Catherine over facetime once she arrived. Although it's not the same it sure does help to have these tools to stay in touch and feel like we are present even if we aren't able to be there physically.
Staycations and day trips in the UK were on the cards as a safer option of escapism. My friend and I went to Margate for the day - Oh how a day in the sun, exploring somewhere new/different, dipping my toes in the sea and living in the moment can make you feel, even that tight feeling in my chest disappeared for a few hours. The beach has to be one of my happy places, something so soothing about the waves. We had such a great time and only a short drive out of London, I will be sure to go back as I'm keen to visit Dreamland which was temporally closed on our visit.
For my mums birthday we visited Coton Manor Gardens, the 10-acre plot filled the special day we had planned for her. A peaceful stroll through the woodland, water features, terraces, herbs and much more. They even house flamingos, ducks, hens and pigs. We stopped off at the Stableyard Cafe afterwards which serves a variety of light lunches, teas, cakes and scones. It was the perfect summers day and ideal local trip for us to spend some time together outdoors.
I brunched my carnival blues away on the bank holiday weekend at the beautiful Dalloway Terrace and neighbouring Coral Room. I also discovered Buck Street Market and it became a new local favourite offering food, sustainable shops and a rooftop bar. Discovering new places through the need to adhere to the rules meant I spent a lot more time closer to home and outdoors.
I managed to spend a week in Berlin which you may have seen in my blog post here. I count myself very fortunate that I was able to go before Lockdown 2 took place. After spending so much time indoors it was a joy to spend the grand total of five days exploring this city (safely) making the most of the culture, food and history. Which leads me on to the five course tasting menu at Cookies and Cream. This was my first ever and I think something that I will become a regular at from now on. The presentation, the service, the way it tasted - spot on.
Unfortunately, along with so many people this year I had to cope with the loss someone, my Grandma. Not being able to visit or comfort my family only added to the feeling of helplessness and isolation. No words can describe the grief, it is already hard enough to come to terms with but faced with the inability to attend her funeral doesn't fully allow you to process or mourn the situation. To any other families that have been separated during this time or experienced something similar, know you are not alone and my heart goes out to you.
In November I launched Invisible Illness Looks Like Me (@invisibleillnesslookslikeme) for the chronically ill and those with hidden disabilities for all the times we’ve been told “you don’t look sick” or “you’re too young to have those kind of problems”. I never talked about my chronic conditions shamed by everyone’s opinion that it was attention seeking, that I should feel luckily as I could have it worse or if I was even sick at all because I looked completely fine to them. When I saw this community online, I felt seen and heard for the first time - so many people sharing stories and experiences, just like mine. With this platform I aim to change perceptions on what illness looks like and to remind you that you can’t judge someone’s health based on their appearance.
One thing about 2020 is how good it felt to leave home given the few opportunities we had to spend it with family and friends but also that it felt even better to come back to knowing everything that’s going on in the outside world, a perspective that truly makes you grateful for each and every experience. An example of this was a Jazz night at the Tramshed Project with my mother and sister or brunch at XOXO with three of my university friends. Going out to eat is something I enjoy and did regularly but didn't realise how much I took this for granted until it was something we could only do few and far between.
Finally I went to see British cellist Sheku Kanneh-Mason at Kings Place. He played alongside his siblings (Isata and Braimah) and friends, who were all incredibly talented. It was strange seeing the hall half empty due to social distancing but I do think it allowed you to fully immerse yourself in the experience and provided a glimmer of hope that we will soon be able to attend events like this once again.
The real achievement we should focus on and champion is the fact that we made it to the end of the year despite all of the above, therefore I think congratulations are in order. We can't know for sure what the new year will bring, the first week has already presented its own challenges but I'm not writing it off just yet. I would like to round up by saying this time has not been wasted and although there were less moments, there were more movements, lessons and healing.
Wishing you a better 2021!
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